Take Deliberate Action

The fact is that you can make your dreams come true. You need to get real with yourself because it is only through taking action that you can create the life you really want. Don’t just dream it – do it! It is definitely possible to create the life you want. If you plan it properly and are willing to do what it takes to get there, you will! The process of reaching your dreams is important but you first need to define your dream.

Answer these two critical questions:

In order to answer these two critical questions, you must explore:

• Your passions
• Your strengths and weaknesses
• Your values
• The needs that are underlying your passion
• Your choices
• Narrow your dream

In order to create the ‘new you’ you need to develop a ‘new you’ mindset:

• Ask and accept help from others
• Start giving back in return
• Do not settle for less!
• Do a SWOT analysis on yourself. (Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats)
• Embrace the opportunities you have!
• Be honest about your shortcomings – decide to make positive changes.
• Embrace all the positives in your life and create more
• Stop fretting over things you cannot control
• Embrace your own uniqueness
• Decide to be optimistic about the future.

What are the possible obstacles that could prevent you from reaching your goals?

• Age. Believing that you are too old to start working on your dreams.
• Money. We often believe that we need money to fulfil our dreams and because we don’t have money “it is impossible to achieve, so why bother?”
• Location. Sometimes we need to re-locate to fulfil our dreams and “it’s too much of a hassle, so why bother?”
• Health. If you are truly not well enough to take the necessary action to achieve your dreams, you need to do everything in your power to get better! I mindset of “I’m never going to get well enough to do what it takes” will ensure that you remain sick – it is self-sabotage!
• Education. If you don’t have the education you need, get it! It is never too late!
• Timing. Make sure that your timing is good. For example, don’t start selling a product that is going to be replaced by another more up-to-date version soon or buy a franchise that is outdated. Do some homework to ensure that your timing is right.
• Fear of success or failure. Most successful people have failed at some point in their lives. Learn from your mistakes. Don’t let one mistake prevent you from trying again and again. Some people fear success, because “remaining successful is too hard to do – so why bother?”
• Lack of self-esteem – believing that you are not good enough or that you don’t deserve being successful. Some people grew up with parents, teachers or others who told them that they will never amount to anything… and they believe it so strongly that they sabotage their own efforts constantly. (See my article on Self-sabotage on my website.)

Make a list of obstacles that may prevent you from reaching your goals. Then decide how you will overcome each obstacle – and write that down too. It is important to face these barriers before you start on your ‘new you’ journey.

If you are feeling low right now, don’t worry about it and don’t panic. Here are some suggestions to help:

Don’t panic

Panic may cause you to lose perspective and you may end up making the wrong decisions. To help you deal with your fear, you need to get a lot more information, so that you are dealing with facts. Also remember that every time you had problems, you overcame them in the end!

Don’t jump to conclusions

Don’t assume the worst. Our emotions have a way to make the issue seem worse than it is. Do a reality check to determine whether your fears are founded or not. It probably isn’t. Do the following:

• Make a list of all your successes so that you can get real about your own capabilities.
• Decide to create better experiences and start implementing the changes immediately. Keep a record.
• Make a list of things people might say about you if someone asked them to describe your characteristics.
• Be realistic about how long it will take you to find a new job; start a new career or business etc.
• Make a list of the tough times you remember and include information about how you overcame it.
• Affirmations will help prevent depression, which injects us with an attitude of defeatism.
• If you have never exercised, this is a good time to start. Get active. Exercise will release endorphins in your body that will make you feel good.

The most important action you can take right now is to write your goals down and to start taking action! Do all the tasks and activities that will ensure that you reach your goals. Do not expect over-night miracles. Be real about how long it will take you to get there.

BY ELSABÉ MANNING

Constraints can prevent organisations from responding, reacting and adapting to these business realities. In order to ensure that results are achieved there are some critical leadership strategies to be followed:

• Create a compelling future by having a vision that excites everyone in the organisation.
• Effective communication.
• Exceed customer expectations.
• Involve every member of the team. Good team work involves everyone and all their talents.
• Manage work horizontally.
• Build your reputation by building credibility.

Having a vision and knowing how to communicate it to the team

It takes strength of character, diplomacy, good values and strong principles to be a good leader. The best leaders can prove their worth by remaining cool and in control in the face of adversity. Great leaders have vision and the ability to influence others to buy into and achieve his or her vision.

Vision gives a team a mission and purpose. A great leader will know how to convey the vision to his workforce in a manner that will align their personal vision and mission to that of the team and the organisation. A “wow” vision is what a team would struggle for, compete for, fight for and sacrifice for and under the correct leadership, will accomplish successfully.

A leader with a vision but without the ability to convey this vision to the team is like a hot air balloon without someone at the helm. Everything is ready, but there’s no one to get it off the ground! A key factor in good leadership is the ability to communicate with the team. No amount of vision will help if the great leader fails to get buy-in from the team.

Getting buy-in means to influence the team by explaining, motivating and negotiating and most importantly, listening to the team. A great leader is a good listener who is focused on finding the best way to accomplish the vision and finding solutions to overcome obstacles and constraints and not always having their own way.

A dynamic leader will not only have the ability to convey the vision and get buy-in, but also have the ability to bring out the best in each individual team member in the process. Great leadership will ensure that the team understands and can articulate the team’s vision and goals.

Good and effective communication is the key. A good leader will be able to talk to the team and influence them to succeed and when they are sold on the idea, gently guide them to a resounding victory.

Allowing the customer to drive the organisation

Strategically managing each customer’s experience to create a positive memory is perhaps the most important ingredient in cultivating customer loyalty. We earn customer loyalty one customer at a time. Good leaders empower individuals on the team to create positive memories for the customers.

Involving every mind

Each team member has their own skills, knowledge, abilities and talents. A dynamic leader will know how to uncover each person’s special talents and allow individuals to contribute fully to achieve the team’s vision.

Managing work horizontally

Managing work horizontally can produce major, organisational pay-offs. Even though most organisations are organised vertically by departments, work actually flows through an organisation horizontally, across departments. A good leader will manage people, processes and work-flow horizontally.

Building your reputation

Building a good reputation takes time. The basis for a good reputation is earned by saying the right things and following up with the right action. Your conduct determines your reputation. You have to do a continuous, consistent string of small good deeds that will positively affect people around you.

By Elsabé Manning

Fear is described as a usually unpleasant, visceral feeling of anxiety, apprehension, or dread.

Fear is created by giving your power away through ideas and beliefs about: lack, judgment, punishment, loss, abandonment, loneliness, wrongness, badness, mistakes, death, sickness, suffering, struggle, helplessness, powerlessness, danger, authority, failure etc.

The knowledge that we are all magnificent powerful beings is not easy to believe when you constantly feel like a victim. It is not easy to accept that what you believe in and focus on is what you draw to yourself – you create more of it. If you focus on success, you will most certainly become successful. If you focus on positive, uplifting experiences, it will all be yours. Be warned, if you focus on what you don’t want… it will also be yours. You will have to examine your own mind to uncover the limiting beliefs you have created, which triggers fear. Fear acts like a magnet. When we are in fear we concentrate on that – and draw more of the same to us.

Before you can empower the reality that you are powerful and that you can create whatever you want, you have to stop empowering the belief that you can’t…

There are numerous things you can do to overcome the emotions that overpower you when you are in fear:

• Breathe. Begin to breathe slowly and deeply. Close your eyes and go into a meditative state. (prayer is also meditation)
• Imagine any emotional cords from other people, which are attached to you, as being released and see it floating away.
• Relax your body. Take a hot bath with relaxing music and burn some perfumed candles.
• Take back the power you have given to those fears and others by expecting the worst. Think of a single, positive sentence that would describe the opposite of your fear, for example: “I am calm and in control of the situation”. Feel the calmness and “experience” the control in your mind. Let go of the notion that you are not in control. You created the belief that you are not in control – change it with one single affirming sentence that you can repeat calmly and peacefully whilst breathing deeply and slowly with your eyes closed. Create a detailed fantasy of a positive outcome.
• Let go of any particular solution you may have in mind, especially if it is a solution you don’t want. Don’t expect a solution straight away. Trust that the best thing will happen – it always does. Even when it seems as though the world is coming to an end.
• Phone someone you trust and ask them to be with you or just speak on the phone. Talking about a situation always helps.
• Give yourself a pleasurable experience. Have a massage or go for a brisk walk if you can.
• Get into the present moment. Let go of the “if only…”; “what if…” or “I should have…” notions. Become aware of everything around you. The birds, the music, the traffic. Look at the colours of the flowers and the sky. Experience the now.
• The other option you have is to allow yourself to feel the fear, without resistance. Let the feelings flow through you and don’t try to change them. A natural shift will occur when you allow the fear to be there.

You can let go of the fear and distorted perceptions and beliefs by writing positive affirmations, which will change your life forever. An affirmation cannot contain any negative words like “can’t, should not, don’t, won’t, stop” etc. It should be written in present terms as though what you want already exists. For example:

• I am in control of my life.
• I am emotionally strong and I make good choices.
• I have a strong, healthy body.
• I have good relationships with people.
• I am successful and powerful

Remember, what you concentrate on is what you create. Write you affirmations by hand. Say your affirmations out loud, at least ten times per day. Concentrate on every word and listen to what you say. Smell your success. Be your success. Experience it through the art of visualisation. Use as many of your senses as possible. Smell it, see it, taste it, feel it, hear it.

You don’t have to believe your affirmations when you start. I can assure you that within one or two weeks of saying your affirmations out loud, 10 times per day, using as many senses as possible at the same time, you will make it happen and the fear will go. It always does.

Create new experiences that you really want instead of living in fear of the ones you have now. Remember, your outer world is a reflection of your inner world. Changing your inner world will change your outer world. In other words, changing your thoughts and beliefs will change your experiences.

By Elsabé Manning

If you have the desire, skill and knowledge to achieve something but you are not achieving it, you are probably ’sabotaging‘ yourself. Subconscious beliefs that you are not good enough and that you don’t deserve what you set out to achieve will prevent you from being successful.

If you have the desire, skill and knowledge to achieve something but you are not achieving it, you are probably ’sabotaging‘ yourself. Subconscious beliefs that you are not good enough and that you don’t deserve what you set out to achieve will prevent you from being successful.

Breaking your diet, procrastination, failed relationships, and so on, are all typical symptoms of self-sabotage.

You destroy your confidence by your own behaviour patterns when you start a project and give up after a while. The same thing happens when you think of many reasons why you can’t do something—for instance, go to gym on a particular day—because you find something ‘more urgent or more important’ to do instead. This type of behaviour causes negative thoughts and self-talk such as ‘I’ll never be able to do this’ or ‘I’m so useless…’ Your motivation and self-esteem drop every time this happens.

We create our own experiences. When people treat you badly or constantly reject you, you need to ask yourself whether you are subconsciously asking to be treated that way ‘because you don’t deserve better’ or ‘because you’re not good enough.’ You ‘ask for it’ non-verbally and subconsciously. The fact is that people will treat you the way you subconsciously want to be treated. Encouraging others to treat you with disrespect so that you can be a victim is prime self-sabotaging behaviour.

Symptoms of self-sabotage:

• Dissatisfaction with life
• A desire for drama or crisis
• Addictive behaviour
• Weight loss with equal or more weight gain afterwards
• Excessive worrying
• Procrastination
• Depression or mood swings
• Putting yourself down
• Lack of trust in people or in your own abilities
• Inability to finish things
• The need to be in an abusive relationship
• Jeopardising or destroying good relationships, jobs, etc.

How to reverse or eliminate self-sabotaging behaviour

You need to be completely honest with yourself about your behaviour. Not admitting that you have a problem is also self-sabotage. You must intend to change your behaviour.

But intending alone is not enough. Set goals—with detailed steps to be taken and diarised deadlines. Work with a coach or close friend who will hold you accountable and monitor your progress.

Our behaviour is governed by our perceptions and beliefs. If you want to change your behaviour, you need to change your beliefs regarding a situation or issue. If you don’t know how to uncover your beliefs – that drive the behaviours that do not serve you – you need to seek help from a good coach, counsellor or therapist because they are trained to help people change their limiting perceptions and beliefs.

When we know better we do better!

By Elsabé Manning